Friday, November 06, 2009

It's not the end of a dream, it's just a step in a different direction

I've been really struggling to make a decision about next year for a while now. But yesterday I was especially thankful for my mom - she is wonderful. All the while through this process she was so encouraging and supportive. I don't know why I am so surprised; I shouldn't be. She is my mom and that's what mom's a supposed to be good at. The decision I'm at the cusp of is going to turn over my state of mind. The plans I've made for myself will be put off for a bit, though I think it is for the best.

As you may know, I've been planning to pursue another degree after I finish my bachelors this spring, but unfortunately my parents are setting me out to sea. I must pay my own way. And while I think this could be an incredibly rewarding experience, it's very frightening. I'm quickly finding out that my boat isn't equipped. I have two choices. Start blowing air into a temporary life raft, or get myself a new boat. It's tempting to whip out that life raft, but I know it's not going to get me very far. In the long run, a new boat will be best. But it maybe it while before I can afford said boat, which means I have to rethink my plans and that brings be back to my earlier point.

Operation new boat begins. I like living in Canada and education in less expensive here for residents. Gaining residency isn't too far out of reach for me since I've been here for three and half years. No matter what I decide to do in grad school, it would be nice to go to a good school like UBC or U of T and not have to pay hundreds of thousands of dollars for my education. Logically and realistically doesn't it make more sense to do that? I suppose it does. So my new plan involves working for a year or two and then getting my residency.

My mom says that maybe I'll find out what it is that I want to do. But that sounds too cliche in my mind. I need a plan. Something that has more substance to it than simply leaving things to chance. Unfortunately, I think I have to just leap. So here it goes.

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