It is difficult to believe that 4 months have come and gone. So much has happened. Personal growth. Heartbreak. New love. New outlook on life. Even though I have had some very challenging moments, I can definitely say that they are all for the best. In June and July it seemed as though things were never going to improve. The landlords were awful. But now that I've moved, that is an (almost) dismal memory of the past. It's strange how things become irrelevant so quickly. My mind seems to be comprised of the present and whatever material entities that I can use to trick my mind into remembering. I look at the photographs displayed across my bedroom wall. A Ferris wheel in Seattle c. 2008. New York signage c. 2007. Aerial shot of Vancouver c. 2009. Mussels on a rock c. 2008. Landscapes from home c. 2007. I remember the places I've been through these photos. I feel slightly compelled to add past emotional states to this was as well. Joy c. 2006. Heartbreak c 2006, 2008, 2009. Fulfillment c. 2009. Accomplishment c 2005. Sorrow c. 2000. (note to self: self portrait project might be worthwhile)
Presently I would like to add anxiety to that list.
This summer has been defined by prospects of prosperity and happiness in solitude. I can't help but feel that school is a reminder of a burden that I must face - where I will be next year. I know where I would like to be, but nothing is certain. I won't even have an inkling of hint until April. It's hard not to be overcome by all of it. I reminded myself today that as long as I am doing my absolute best, I can have the luxury of faith that allots something good to come. Summer has acted a shell to comfort me from all that I must face come next week. I feel the warm embrace of long days, sunshine, and blossoming life. It has given me the strength to stand tall and face my life.