Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Proceed to Step One

I'm sure it's happened to you before. You're talking with a friend and all of the sudden, they say something that indicates that they know you too well. It's usually one of those moments where you stop dead in your tracks and think, "how/why do they know this?" I believe it is the mark of a true friendship. Today I was in the library and Rob showed up to study as well. We (briefly) continued our conversation from last week about my general aloofness with the boy that I'm dating. Well aloof might not be the right word . . . we've been dating for a little over a month and it seems like it's a the point were the inevitable "define the relationship" (dtr) question sprouts. I have certainly given it a lot of thought. He's someone who I really like and would love be in a relationship with. However, I am being a complete coward about bringing it up. So I was telling Rob that I was supposed to see said boy yesterday but it didn't happen. And he said to me, "Why don't you just call him? I know you want to." True. I really do want to see him, in person, so that this conversation can happen soon and that I can regain my mental stability.

We continued this semi-whispered conversation in the library and I brought up the age-old question to Rob, "how do you bring up this topic?" My rule of thumb is to not pose questions that I myself wouldn't want to answer. You know, the broad open-ended question "where is this going?" These were Rob's instructions. "Step one - get tequila. Step two - make margaritas. Step three indulge in said drinks and other activities to have a night of random, drunken-ness. Step four - bring up this question the next morning after wild evening." This is certainly the kind of situation that I was hoping to avoid. Rob of course told me this in a joking manner. But just as well all advice comes from experience. It got me to thinking. Once the period of deciding whether or not you like someone is over, and you decide that you like the person, what is suppose to happen next?

In my ideal world, a serious relationship ensues. However I find myself living in the warped era of dating where anything goes. But seeing as though I have my values placed on the lost art of chivalry and courtship and romance, I am looking for something methodical. So my step one is to figure out if we are even on the same page. If so, then why not call him my boyfriend? Gina and I were talking about this because it is an issue I have been noodling over for about a week, and she gave me some great advice. She said that "any outcome is a good outcome for that conversation." And she is completely right. I am going to keep this in mind and the next time that I start to get butterflies in my stomach I am going to remember that no matter what, I will have an answer.

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