Monday, May 18, 2009

A lesson learned from the weekend

This weekend was nothing sort of crazy. Lots partying, dancing and drinking. Things that one would typically expect of a 20 year old girl. The thing is, is that it's not the behavior I expect of myself. In fact I don't think I've ever felt more ashamed of myself than I do in the aftermath of this past weekend. I feel overcome with guilt and disappointment. This is so not this person I am, nor is it the one that I want to be.

My Nana no longer drinks and she has told the story several times. Her beverage of choice: Mexican coffee. She said she spent 24 hours keeled over the toilet. She said that she hated feeling so out of control of herself, which is why she doesn't like to drink. I think I finally understand her now. I'm sure I she were to read this, she would be upset to know that I had to learn the hard way, but I think this may be a good turning point for me. In retrospect, I can't even imagine how stupid and immature I must have seemed to everyone around me, not to mention the fact that I probably looked as though I had no self-respect and that leads down a slippery slop.

Alas, the end of my year and a half of drinking is coming to an end, but I know it's for the best. I want the world to get to know me, and there are so many great things about me that far far out weigh my kookiness when I'm drunk.

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