Monday, December 01, 2008

the interwined nature of people and places

I cooked Thanksgiving dinner for the first time ever on Saturday, alas it has gotten me behind on blogging and studying. Considering it was the first time I've ever thrown a dinner party so large and cooked a turkey, I'm thoroughly satisfied with the results. It was nice to be able to bring so many of my friends together to have a good meal and catch up on each other's lives. I loved the intimacy of it from fitting 13 people in my ridiculously small living room. Then again, it did make it feel more like my home.
Things appear to have settled down for me, though every time I think that's the case I'm taken by surprise. Anyhow, I'm spent by time doing other things like cooking to escape all of my unresolved problems. In fact that was working out very well for me until my problems came looking for me during my Girl Guide meeting. My phone rang and it was Rob. He called to apologize for bailing on me last night, though I can't say I was horribly let down by that. Nonetheless, he said he wanted to catch up on the phone, but I told him I was kind of in the middle of Brownies and he said he'd catch up with me after he was done at the gym (ie any minute now). Once again, I know I'm only creating drama for myself by agreeing to see him again. I know I'm doing it to give myself some fake hope that, perhaps, things might be normal again. Luckily there are only 13 more days until I go home and get the space that I desperately need. Such a shame that a place as big as Vancouver suddenly feels so suffocatingly small. I guess I can't really blame the place. It's the people in the place, which got me to thinking about how we fuse together our opinions of a place with the people that fill it. That somehow puts places at a disadvantage. The best example that comes to mind is LA. I've always had a bias against it because of it's filthy exterior but also because of all the celebs. I feel like they have such a negative influence over so many people and have such a fake facade about them. Anyways, for this reason I avoid LA like the plague. Maybe that's not fair, but in my mind it's somehow justified. Not that I'm beginning to feel that way about Vancouver, but I worry that the people may be driving me from the place I love so much. I guess it's time for me to stand my ground and make the choices that I've been dreading so much.

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