Wednesday, December 03, 2008

accepting what was inevitable

One final down, and one more to go. I'm actually quite motivated to study for english next Friday now that I know I can get an A in that class. My plan is to ease back into it, and study for about 3 to 4 hours a day until next Tuesday and then kick up the intensity a notch or two. I know that I have to make my limited study time count though and not mess around. And I think that since I'll have so much time, I would feel really guilty not doing well on it.
I've also come to realize several things in the past few days that have been immensely useful to me. All of the dishonesty and shadiness on Rob's end of things makes me less inclined to trust him. He doesn't at all embody the things that I value in a friendship, and now I'm wondering why I'm even wasting my time on it. Whether or not I'm ready to admit it, it's definitely time for me to move on. I guess my problem now is that I've never been this free in a very long time and I'm just feeling a little lost as to what I should be doing. Thus being friends with Rob presents itself as a safety net and ultimately is what will hinder me from moving on. I need to be my own best friend for a while and leave behind the pieces that I think I value. As scary as it may seem, I have so many people in my life who will be there to help me through it. People who will be far better friends to me than Rob will ever be. It's time.

No comments: