Tuesday, November 28, 2006

snow in vancouver


 It figures that the year I decide to go to Vancouver for university to avoid the east coast weather, is the same year that Vancouver gets the worst snow storm they've ever seen. It's presently 19 degrees Farhinheit. I'm pretty much frozen over, because it never even gets remotely this cold at home. But I did enjoy my first snow day, as the University was closed due to the snow. Anyhow the weather is suppose to be incredibly cold the next few days and possibly snow again on wednesday. The view from my dorm room is nice though.

Friday, November 24, 2006

what to do, what to do.

Someone said to me the other day, "I'm so glad you're back to being normal." I knew what they were talking about. But I couldn't help but want to still feel weak. And Fragile. And pale. I was downtown to day and a man made eye contact with me, and for the first time ever, I immediately dropped my eyes to the pavement. I never do this. I don't submit like that. And now I feel so broken because I can't even make eye contact with out feeling wrong. I don't know what move to make next or where to turn or how to move. I feel paralyzed in a night that wasn't meant to last. It wasn't meantto manifest itself. Turning me inside out. Not like this.  

Monday, November 13, 2006

untitled.

This was suppose to be a good weekend. It's a three day weekend. I was (and did) going to finish a term paper. However in a turn of events on Friday night, this has turned into the most humiliating past few days of my entire life (although there have been a few close seconds). I feel vulnerable, and I am not ever vulnerable. I don't know how to be this person. I don't know how I'm suppose to be. And I am so tired of people asking me if I'm okay, because whether or not they know it, I am clearly not. Oh, what have I done?

Thursday, November 02, 2006

my new obsession

'Open Your Eyes' - Snow Patrol
All this feels strange and untrue
And I won't waste a minute without you
My bones ache, my skin feels cold
And I'm getting so tired and so old

The anger swells in my guts
And I won't feel these slices and cuts
I want so much to open your eyes
Cos I need you to look into mine

Tell me that you'll open your eyes

Get up, get out, get away from these liars
Cos they don't get your soul or your fire
Take my hand, knot your fingers through mine
And we'll walk from this dark room for the last time

Every minute from this minute now
We can do what we like anywhere
I want so much to open your eyes
Cos I need you to look into mine

Tell me that you'll open your eyes

All this feels strange and untrue
And I won't waste a minute without you


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This song has without a doubt become one of my favorites. It is indescribable how closely I'm able to relate to it. And the music is phenomenal. ♥